Tag Archive for: State Of Menopause

How To Win If Your Middle-Aged Man Dumps You For A Teen-Aged Woman

We’ve all heard stories about middle-aged men who dump their middle-aged, menopausal wife for a teen-aged woman. Most people attribute such behavior to a man’s so-called “midlife crisis.” And most people (other than fellow middle-aged wife-dumpers) tend to view this midlife crisis behavior as entirely inappropriate.

This is especially true because the whole thing ends up being a bigger crisis for you, the middle-aged menopausal woman, than it ever was for your middle-aged wife-dumping meandering man.

But I’m here to tell you that there’s actually a way for you to be the winner of such a crisis, and come out on top. All you have to do is mimic your middle-aged man’s behavior with a teen-aged man-boy of your own!

Think about it:

If your 54-year-old man goes out and finds himself an 18-year-old woman to get great sex … all because you’ve lost your interest in sex (with him), he’ll be shocked if you find yourself a hunky, sexy sex machine. You’ll be a 54-year-old woman with an 18-year-old man. And there is nothing on earth more sex-charged than an 18-year-old man!

And face it, both mathematically and sexually: 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Sexually-speaking, you’ll have a lot more great, hard, satisfying sex than your middle-aged man can even recall having when he was young. That’s for sure!

You win!

And, when you think about the emotional effect of all that great sex, you can come out on top there, too.

His little 18-year-old woman is gonna fall in love with her “daddy.” And she’ll want to get married. If your ex-middle-aged dumper wants to keep her from dumping him, he’ll have no choice but to button his lip & get hitched.

But marriage is the last thing on your 18-year-old man’s mind. All he cares about is having fun sex. Commitment and a long-term relationship are completely foreign to him. So you’ll get care-free sex. This is perfect for you. The last thing you want at 54 is to adopt another man for whom you have to function as his mother.

So, you win on that, too.

Of course, once she forces him to marry her, your former middle-aged man’s teen-aged woman is going to get pregnant so fast that it will make his head spin faster than his sperm can swim. And he’ll have to deal with a pregnant woman’s hormones, which are definitely as wonky as … if not more wonky than …menopausal hormones.

And if she doesn’t get pregnant right away, your ex-middle-aged man will have to deal with her menstrual hormone rollercoaster. At least with you, the hormonal rollercoaster days were a distant memory.

But your hunky teen-aged man won’t think about wanting kids until long after you’ve kicked him to the curb for some reason or another. And his hormones will just be at a steady high all the time. You’ll have no worries about having to deal with any fluctuations. He’ll be like a machine that you can control: On when you want him for sex, and off when you don’t.

Win, win, win!

And then when your old middle-aged man has to deal with raising a whole passel of screaming kids all over again, he’ll be kicking himself for starting all over again at such an old age. He’ll wonder how he ever managed all this the first time around with you. But, alas, he’ll realize that he didn’t manage this; you did.

But while he’s trying to figure out childrearing 101, you’ll be free to do as you please. You’ll have lost your bonding hormone oxytocin, and have no desire to be around anybody. And you won’t have to be. Your kids will be grown and on their own. You won’t have a man around the house to bother you. And you’ll have peace and quiet.

Win again!

Just when your previously rich old man thinks he’s gotten ahead, it will be time for him to fork out the dough for college educations and weddings. Back to the poor house he’ll go, while you sit on your nice nest egg, secure in the thought that you are set for the rest of your life.

That’s another big win, a monetary one.

But there’s more.

Menopause is inevitable. So, after dumping you because of your menopause, your exhausted, financially-strapped, rapidly-aging ex is going to have to deal with menopause all over again … hers! That’s probably when it will finally dawn on him that, had he just stayed with you, he’d have been a lot better off all around.

There really just isn’t any way for you to lose on this. It’s all a matter of how you look at it. So, cheer up. Your middle-aged man’s midlife crisis could be you’re your freedom license.

Silence is Stupid!

There’s a quote that says, “Silence is Golden.” But, I disagree. I think silence is stupid!

You know, we humans are odd. We tend to behave in ways that are not in our best interest. Instead of behaving in ways that conform with our natural tendencies, we modify our behavior.

For instance, do you realize that your body talks to you? It doesn’t talk verbally, like we do to each other. Instead, it talks to you by creating symptoms to get your attention and make you aware that something’s wrong. The problem is that we ignore the things our bodies are trying to tell us.

When you came into the world as a newborn, you couldn’t do much of anything. You had needs, but you depended on others to meet them. Your job was to make sure they knew you needed something. So, even though you were completely incapable of doing anything for yourself, the one thing you could do quite well was cry. Crying was your only way of communicating. And, boy, did it work to make everyone take care of you. If, as a newborn, you had remained silent when you needed something, there’s no telling what disasters might have befallen you. Silence could have resulted in your demise. Silence would have been stupid.

Then, as you got older, you discovered that your own body had a way of communicating its needs to you. Pain indicated an injury. Itching indicated an allergy. Aching indicated muscle soreness. Your body created a whole smorgasbord of sensations to let you know something was wrong. So your body was not silent. It “spoke up” to let you know when there was a problem. And then you spoke up to get help. Silence would have been stupid.

When puberty came along, you had no difficulty announcing the arrival of your first period. Your mom had probably already been plenty vocal in warning you of its inevitability. Unfortunately, she probably didn’t bother to include anything about menopause as the bookend to puberty. But, why not? Why the silence? Menopause is really just puberty in reverse. So why did she tell you about puberty, but not menopause?

And as you aged, you talked a lot about your periods over the next 30 years or so. You even talked quite a bit about PMS. All these things were your reality. So why hide them? Half of the world’s population experienced them. So it just seemed stupid to be silent about them.

And, pregnancy, … oh my goodness! Not only is there no silence about that, there’s endless conversation about it. It’s one of the biggest events of your life. So most women talk about it before, during, and after the actual event.

Women are known for talking! We talk about everything … except menopause.

So why are we silent on the subject of menopause?

The odd thing about human behavior is that, although we refuse to listen to our own bodies, we do listen to everything and everybody else: Dr. Google, celebrities who are not experts on the topic, advertisers, marketers, ignorant girlfriends, hype, scare tactics. We listen to all the wrong things instead of listening to the one right thing.

Somewhere during the course of your life, you got the notion that you shouldn’t speak up about certain things. For some odd reason, you decided that speaking up was a form of weakness. And, odder still, you got the idea that suffering in silence was a form of martyrdom. You adopted phrases like, “Grin and bear it;” “No pain, no gain,” “I can tough it out,” etc. They all implied that you should not acknowledge the signs and symptoms that your body provided to protect you. They implied that you should just ignore your body’s way of speaking up to let you know something was wrong.

And, finally, you ended up here, at the time of menopause. Mother Nature instilled your body with a whole host of symptoms to get your attention when you lose your estrogen at post-menopause. You have over 20 horrible symptoms from your head to your toes that turn every aspect of your life upside down and make you absolutely miserable. But, … you ignore them and remain silent.

They are all symptoms of estrogen deficiency, which is the very definition of menopause. Of course, this huge list of symptoms usually follows years of wacky periods that were also a warning that menopause was just around the corner. But, even though all those horrible symptoms hit most women over the head like a ton of bricks and turn their lives upside down, most women remain silent. It’s as if they seem to think their silence constitutes some type of martyrdom. I assure you that no man would endure all those miserable symptoms silently.

You are so entrenched in your silence that you don’t even wake up to the fact that all your symptoms are your body’s way of hollering at you to alert you to the fact that estrogen is missing. Every cell in your body is starving. That’s why you have symptoms from your head to your toes.

But, you’re so good at staying silent that you just pretend everything’s fine. And, because you refuse to admit that you just might be experiencing menopause, you fail to get the education you need to manage it. You think your silence is stoic. But, in reality, it’s stupid.

You don’t speak up and tell your doctor that you’re having over 20 miserable symptoms of estrogen deficiency. And your doctor doesn’t speak up and tell you what to expect. You both remain silent. The silence is just soooo stupid!

Menopause is a hormone deficiency just like any other hormone deficiency. All hormone deficiencies produce a long list of symptoms to alert you to the fact that a hormone is missing. This is true regardless of the particular hormone that’s deficient.

Diabetes, which is insulin deficiency produces a long list of symptoms. Likewise, hypothyroidism, which is thyroid hormone deficiency, produces a long list of symptoms. And if you don’t replace the missing hormone for those situations, the hormone deficiency causes diseases that are ultimately fatal.

Oh my! Do you think the same could be true for estrogen deficiency? And if it is, why in the world would everyone be silent about it?

Well, my dear, I’m breaking the silence to tell you that estrogen deficiency is like any other hormone deficiency. It is not just about hot flashes. It’s about the diseases that are due to estrogen deficiency. What are they? Heart attack, Osteoporosis, and Alzheimer’s.

The sad thing is that most women have no idea that these diseases are a direct consequence of losing their estrogen at menopause. And, with all the silence on the topic of menopause, it’s usually too late once they find out.

You see, there’s another facet to why silence is stupid. Have you ever heard of a “silent disease”? A “silent disease” is one that does not produce any symptoms. You have no idea the disease is lurking because you feel fine.

But the horrible thing about a silent disease is that it progresses until … bam! … a catastrophic event occurs. And the ironic thing about all the silence that characterizes menopause is the fact that all 3 of these diseases (Heart attack, Osteoporosis, and Alzheimer’s) are silent until they are deadly.

Heart attack is the biggest killer of menopausal women. It kills 1 out of 2 women. But doctors don’t warn you about that. Their silence is inexcusably stupid. Without estrogen, you build up plaque in your heart arteries for years or decades without a clue that it’s happening. And then, when you least expect it, you have a heart attack.

But there’s more! The symptoms of a heart attack in a woman are very different from those in a man. Men have crushing chest pain with radiation into their left arm. Women don’t. Women have jaw, neck, or back discomfort that they don’t even describe as pain.

So there are 2 forms of silence with a heart attack: (1) You don’t know you’re heading for one, and (2) You don’t know you’re having one.

So, why, oh why, don’t people talk about this so that women are aware?

Osteoporosis is just as bad. When you lose your estrogen, you start losing bone. But, there are no symptoms of bone loss. It’s a silent disease. So you lose bone like crazy for years and then, bam! Your first indication of a problem comes in the form of a fracture of your spine or hip from something that should never cause a fracture. Women fracture their spines by merely coughing or sneezing. They fracture their hips when just standing still, doing nothing. They don’t fall and fracture. They literally fracture first and then fall … all because there’s no bone there. And the reason there’s no bone there is because estrogen loss causes bone loss, period.

The mortality rate after the first osteoporotic fracture is 20%. But fractures beget fractures. So most women have one after another. And they never heal because there’s no bone there. They are crippled for life, and cannot ever live independently again. Go to any nursing home in the world. I guarantee that 90% of the residents are women who have fractured.

Yet, nobody tells you about all this in advance. Isn’t that stupid?

Alzheimer’s is pretty much the ultimate in why silence is stupid. Your brain has estrogen receptors. Estrogen is its fuel, and it cannot function without it. Why do you think you get brain fog when you hit menopause? Well, if you extrapolate that brain fog over the next decade or so, what do you think is happening to your brain? It’s shrinking! That’s what Alzheimer’s is: Brain shrinkage. Your brain goes from large to small, ever so slowly and silently. And it’s silent until you’ve lost 40% of your brain.

That forgetfulness and brain fog you have for years is your brain’s attempt to wake you up and get your attention … but most women just ignore it and remain silent. That silence is stupid!

Alzheimer’s has a 100% mortality rate. That makes it 100% stupid.

So why don’t doctors equip you with the knowledge that there are silent but deadly diseases associated with estrogen deficiency?

To have 3 deadly diseases that all creep up on you silently is just super-stupid.

The message that I’m delivering to you loudly and clearly is this: Menopause is estrogen deficiency that produces symptoms to wake you up so that you’ll speak up before you develop the 3 silent diseases that can kill you. There are all sorts of things you can do to prevent both the symptoms and the diseases. But they are not all equal in their abilities. So you have to learn about the limitations of each of your management options.

If you live as long as expected, your menopause will constitute the longest hormonal phase of your life. Once you reach menopause, you will be a menopausal woman for the rest of your life. Are you going to stay silent about it for half of your life? You have more control over the menopausal portion of your life than you do over any other time. But you relinquish that control if you remain silent. Why would you do that? And if you do remain silent into your golden years, there won’t be anything “golden” about them. So give all this silence some thought. And then speak up and never shut up.

Cry like a baby if necessary. It’s the first thing you learned to do upon entry into this world. Don’t stop. It served you well when you were born, and it will serve you well now. Refuse to grin and bear the misery. Don’t settle for anything less. Make a lot of noise to get what you want for managing your menopause your way.

Silence is a form of bondage. The only way you’ll break out of bondage is to break the silence.

Silence is stupid!

You’ve Got a Long Way to Go, Baby!

You’ve Got a Long Way to Go, Baby!

By Menopause Taylor 

Back in 1968, the phrase, “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby” became very popular. It implies progress. And, even though it was an advertising slogan for Virginia Slim cigarettes rather than anything expressly political or social, it symbolized these long, slender cigarettes that were tailored for women, with their long slender fingers and such.

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There’s a Very Fine Line Between “Ed” and “Ad”

It’s so difficult to get accurate information these days! Of course, the key word is “accurate.” There’s plenty of “information.” But how in the world are you supposed to separate what’s credible and accurate from what’s not?

The Internet was supposed to make information gathering better. But, has it? Historically, if you wanted to learn about something, you went to the library. The library only offered books that had been published by a publishing company, with all the vetting that went with it. To get a book published, an author had to prove his or her credibility to a publisher.

As a result, the number of resources available were limited, but the information in those resources was credible.

Nowadays, there aren’t many publishing companies. That’s because we’ve become primarily a paperless society. And, since there are fewer publishers, there’s more self-publishing.

And self-publishing means that anyone can publish anything … credible or not!

Information gathering from the Internet is even worse. It enables people with no credentials at all to promote any thing at all. So, now you’re exposed to people making false testimonials about products, unreliable people selling products, and uneducated people “educating “ you about the science and facts behind their products.

At the crux of it all is the unfortunate fact that there’s a very fine line between “ed” and “ad.”

“Ed” is educating. It’s what your teachers did when you went to school. Education is purely informational for the sake of knowledge itself. It has no agenda. It consists of principles that you can apply to anything. And education is powerful because it equips you with a knowledge base to assess products on your own. When someone educates you, they do not stand to gain something based on how you utilize that education.

“Ad” is advertising. Advertising is necessary for selling. It’s a means to get people to buy something. It has absolutely nothing to do with educating. It has to do with convincing, regardless of facts. And it includes distortions of the truth and false claims.

So, with all the resources in our Internet-governed, paperless world, you are the target of a whole lot of advertising disguised as educating.

Advertisers start out with a kernel or two of “educational” information. That gets your attention. It’s the hook. But then, they start veering off into information manipulation so that you assume they’re still educating you.

They aren’t.

They’ve switched gears without your knowledge. And now there in the process of advertising.

But, since they’ve gotten you “primed” with the initial educational tidbit, you’re now gullible and ripe for a sale. And you don’t even realize that your “educator” has transformed into a “advertiser”!

An educator’s reward is your understanding. Knowledge is the currency. If you learn, the educator was successful. If you don’t, they failed. Not so for the advertiser. The advertiser cares only about his or her own pocketbook. The goal is the sale. If you buy, it’s a success. If you don’t it’s a failure.

With so many people being much more adept at advertising than educating, you hardly recognize the difference.

Don’t fall for this. Avoiding it is very simple: If there’s a product involved, run!

No person with any product will ever tell you the truth, period. They don’t care about the truth. They care about the sale. And they’ll say whatever they have to say to make the sale. Your knowledge is of no interest to them.

So, get your education from resources that are purely educational. Make sure the educator doesn’t have any biases, doesn’t belong to any company that sells products, and doesn’t stand to gain anything by what you do with your new knowledge.

Any person who has a personal interest in your choice of products is not an educator. They’re an advertiser.

This fine line between “ed” and “ad” is subtle. But once you know how to recognize it, you’ll spot it easily. And when you do, leave the website, turn the channel, or find another YouTube video.

And always remember, if there’s a product involved, run!

Who Moved My Estrogen?

Have you ever heard of a book written by Spencer Johnson, M.D. entitled Who Moved My Cheese? It’s a tiny little book of about 97 pages, easy to read, and unforgettable. It’s not really about cheese, though. It’s about change, and the cheese is a metaphor for something that disappears, forcing those who are affected by the change to adapt.

I absolutely love that book, and I think it applies to many things in life. It certainly applies to the change called menopause. But, in that case, I guess we would call it Who Moved My Estrogen?

Who Moved My Cheese is about four little characters in a maze. Two of the characters are mice. The other two are humans. And in the middle of the maze is a big mound of cheese. Every day, these four characters wake up, go out and eat the cheese, and haven’t a care in the world.

One day, one of the mice, named “Sniff,” sniffs the cheese and notices that it’s starting to smell a bit rancid. Shocked at this change, he stands back to see the entire mound of cheese. And, low and behold, he realizes that the mound is shrinking!

“Oh, my!” Sniff exclaims. “This cheese is gonna disappear some day.” And with that, Sniff takes off and goes in search of new cheese. He foresees the inevitable. And he acts on it in advance, before it hits him over the head like a ton of bricks.

The other three creatures in the maze just keep on going through the motions: Wake up, eat the cheese, and assume things will always stay the same.

Eventually, one morning, they wake up and find that all the cheese is gone.

They’re shocked! They didn’t see this coming!

The second mouse, Scurry, says, “Oh, well, the cheese is gone. I’m outta here.” And he hits the road to go find new cheese. He hadn’t anticipated the change, but as soon as he came face-to-face with it, he wasted no time in adapting to it by leaving his comfort zone to accommodate the change.

The two little humans fume. They have temper tantrums. They stomp around screaming, “Where’s my cheese?” “This isn’t fair!” “That cheese had better come back, or else ….” They resist the change. They refuse to adapt to it

After days of stonewalling, “Haw,” one of the humans, decides that he has no choice. The cheese is gone. It isn’t coming back. And that means he must force himself to go in search of new cheese. He isn’t happy about it. In fact, he’s terrified. He’s a creature of habit. He doesn’t’ like change.

But, the way he sees it, he can either stay put and die or he can venture out and manage his new situation.

So, with angst and trepidation, he forages beyond his familiar surroundings. As he does so, he discovers new things. “Gee,” he says, “If it hadn’t been for the disappearance of the cheese, I never would have learned about any of these other things. I would have kept doing the same old thing for the rest of my life, oblivious to the fact that there are so many other options available.”

And, as Haw continues his search, he becomes more comfortable, more knowledgeable, and more excited about his future. Because he finally decided to do something productive to make the best of his new-found situation, he saved his life and actually made it better.

“Hem,” the other human stayed and stewed. He refused to budge. He had his head stuck in the sand and his feet rooted right where he stood. No one and nothing was going to force him to change. And, because of his stubborn attitude, he suffered from starvation and died.

As I said, the story is about change. And the question is, “Which of these four creatures most resembles you?” How do you adapt to change?

Menopause is change. You’re going to wake up one day and wonder, “Who moved my estrogen?” So which scenario will depict you?

Will you be pragmatic and proactive by planning ahead for the inevitable? If so, you’ll educate yourself about menopause before your estrogen disappears. That way, you’ll recognize that it’s dwindling in advance, and you’ll be able to prevent the shock of its sudden disappearance.

Alternatively, will you be instamatic like Scurry, and adapt immediately? Will you spring into action as soon as you realize that the change has occurred?

Or will you be dramatic like Haw, balking at the fact that you have no choice but to adapt, dragging your feet, dragging out the process, but figuring it out as you go along?

Or, will you be like Hem, and meet a traumatic end?

There’s no avoiding it. Your estrogen will not last forever. One day, you’ll wake up and wonder, “Who moved my estrogen?”

Menopause is All About Compensation

What does the word “compensation” mean to you?

As with most things, it probably depends on context.

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Here Today, Here Tomorrow … and for the Rest of Your Life

Here today, gone tomorrow. It’s an expression that applies to many things.

Fashion trends are definitely here today and gone tomorrow. So are fads, like big hair, piercing, and favorite songs. Even figures of speech come and go. When was the last time you heard someone say, “Groovy!” What about, “Well, I never!” (I always picture an older, refined woman saying that one.)

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Menopause Management Isn’t Political

Have you noticed that things that aren’t political sometimes seem political? You know, when people feel they have to take a side, label themselves this or that, and confine their opinions and choices to what’s consistent for their side?

Opinions about abortion are political … even though abortion itself is really more personal and medical than political.

Opinions about global warming are political … even though geologic effects of climate and ecology are more scientific than political.

Opinions on your health care are political … even though your employer, insurance company, and government are less qualified than you are to decide what’s best for you.

And on and on.

The point is that we tend to take sides and politicize things that really aren’t political.

How you manage your menopause is not political. Despite the fact that there tend to be “two camps” of thought, you don’t have to take a side.

Three’s the “Traditional Medical Camp” which promotes pharmaceutical hormone replacement. People in this camp focus on estrogen, and believe you should replace your estrogen when your ovaries stop producing it at the time of menopause. They don’t “believe in” herbs, acupuncture, hypnosis, or diet for managing menopause. And if you request anything other than pharmaceutical management options, a person entrenched in the Traditional Medical Camp will scoff and dismiss your request. They’re loyal to the Traditional Medical way of doing things.

And then there’s the “Alternative and Complementary Camp,” which promotes non-pharmaceutical options and denounces hormone replacement. People in this camp focus on progesterone, and believe progesterone is the solution for all your menopausal woes. They instill fear of estrogen to persuade you to use progesterone instead of estrogen. And if you request hormone replacement, a person entrenched in the Alternative and Complementary Camp will shame you for failing to remain loyal to the “natural” way of doing things. They’re patriots of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.

As with politics, every person in either camp is absolutely certain that their way is the best way. They’re sure that they’re right and everyone else is wrong.

Fortunately, your menopause management doesn’t have to fall into one camp or the other. You don’t have to choose sides. You can sample offerings from both camps, form your own opinions, and construct your own management technique.

Think of all the options in both camps a one big smorgasbord.

There’s no need to label one camp good and the other bad. Or one right and the other wrong. There’s no need to take a side.

Wouldn’t it be great if un-politicizing other things were this easy?

Non-truth, Half-truth, And Everything But the Truth

You know how you have to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth … so help you God, in a court of law? Well, I don’t think that should be confined to just the courts. I think it should be a requirement for a lot of things, including public announcements about research findings.

Don’t you feel like you get conflicting information every time you hear a report about a research study? One report says Vitamin E is good for you; another says, maybe not. One day, two glasses of red wine prevent disease; the next day they don’t. One guideline tells you to get a mammogram every year; another says every two years.

How in the world are you supposed to know what’s true when you hear non-truths, half-truths, and everything but the truth?

Wouldn’t it be so much better if all research reporting required that you get the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

One particular study really brings this other-than-the-truth phenomenon to light. It’s the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI), which came out in 2002.

Before 2002, women routinely took hormone replacement therapy (HRT) when they began experiencing the symptoms of menopause at about age 51. Most women would continue taking the hormones for the next ten years, or even indefinitely. The belief at the time was that hormone replacement therapy for menopause replaced a deficiency in female hormones. A “deficiency” is absence of anything the body needs to function normally.

Just as insulin deficiency (diabetes) requires insulin replacement, and thyroid hormone deficiency (hypothyroidism) requires thyroid hormone replacement, estrogen deficiency at the time of menopause was viewed as a deficiency state that warrants replacement therapy.

Now, if you have a deficiency state and don’t replace the missing substance, what happens?

You experience a list of about 20 symptoms that make you feel awful. And, eventually, your body breaks down because it lacks something it needed to function properly.

Previous research had shown that, without hormone replacement, women had higher rates of blood clots, stroke, heart attack, breast cancer, osteoporosis, and Alzheimer’s Disease.

So, the WHI set out to discover if taking hormone replacement therapy could prevent these diseases. Now this is a far cry different from using hormone replacement therapy to alleviate the symptoms of menopause … with the added benefit of decreasing your risk for these diseases.

Using hormone replacement therapy to directly, specifically, and primarily prevent these diseases is a whole different story! In other words, that’s using it to do something entirely different from its intended purpose. But, of course, explaining that would constitute telling you the whole truth.

Well, you didn’t hear the whole truth about the purpose of the study. You only heard half the truth.

And that’s not all.

The media report to the public on the results of the study weren’t exactly the truth, either.

Here’s what you heard: Hormone replacement for menopause carries more risks than benefits. For example, in the WHI study, it increased the risk of blood clots 100%. It also increased the risk for strokes, heart attack, and breast cancer.

Before I tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, let me tell you what happened when women heard that media report: They all flushed their hormones down the toilet. They became terrified of taking hormones. Consequently, doctors, seeing the public’s fearful reaction, became unwilling to prescribe hormones. They were concerned about the possibility of litigation that might ensue if a woman developed any of these diseases.

So, in the blink of a single media report about a single research study, women went from taking hormone replacement therapy as a benefit … to condemning hormone replacement therapy as a curse.

Hormone replacement went from being the fountain of youth to being the kiss of death.

So, I ask you: Which is it? What’s the truth? How did something that had been so standard and beneficial become so offensive and risky, just because of one research study?

Here’s how: You heard the non-truth, the half-truth, and everything but the truth.

So, what is the truth?

Non-truths and half-truths take many forms. One form is to make a statement that is essentially “true,” but presented in such a way that makes it sound much more devastating than it really is.

Let’s take one single statement that was included in the WHI media report and reveal all the facts:

The media report stated that “Hormone replacement therapy for menopause increased the risk of blood clots 100% in the study subjects.” In other words, the risk of a blood clot increased 100%.

So, what does a “100% increased risk” mean to you?

Does it mean that 100% of the women who took hormones had a blood clot?

Does it mean that the risk of a blood clot increased 100%?

Does it mean that women who took hormones had a blood clot 100% of the time?

Hmmmm? Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Well, if the media report had given you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you wouldn’t be wondering what “100% increased risk” meant. You’d know!

So, now I’ll reveal the truth.

The WHI study examined 10,000 women. That’s a lot of women!

The average age of those women was 63. Hey, that’s a whole lot older than the typical woman who takes hormone replacement therapy for the symptoms of menopause! They’re normally only around 51. And, hey, older women have more blood clots, anyway.

But here’s the shocking part of the truth:

Without hormone replacement therapy, 8 women (out of 10,000) had a blood clot.

And, now for the punchline:

With hormone replacement therapy, 16 women (out of 10,000) had a blood clot!

So, the “100% increased risk” meant that instead of 8 women having a blood clot, 16 women had a blood clot … out of 10,000.

But, of course, no one bothered to tell you that. All you heard was “The risk of a blood clots increased 100%.”

Does “16 women out of 10,00 had a blood clot instead of 8” sound as devastating and drastic as “The risk of a blood clot increased 100%”?

Surprised?

Or maybe you’re a little angry.

If so, you have every right to be. You got the non-truth, the half-truth, and everything but the truth. That’s not fair.

If only you’d heard the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you would have had the opportunity to evaluate the significance of that study fairly. And I’ll bet a lot fewer women would have flushed their hormones down the toilet.

Puberty in Reverse

Puberty!

Wasn’t it just wonderful? There were so many changes occurring all at the same time.

Remember your first period? Did you think, “Oh God! Am I going to have to put up with this mess for the rest of my life?” Wasn’t it inconvenient to have to have pads or tampons on hand all the time? And didn’t your periods interfere with your fun at times?

Oh, and let’s not forget the acne that mortified you every time you needed to look your best.

What about hair growth. Suddenly, you had to constantly groom the hair on your legs, in your armpits, and in your crotch. The upkeep never seemed to end.

Of course, there were also the interesting emotional changes: mood swings, irritability, even depression. Do you remember thinking that no one understood you?

And what did puberty do for your interpersonal relationships, especially with your parents? Did they think your puberty was a breeze? I’ll be that some aspects of your puberty were worse for them than they were for you!

Don’t you sometimes look back on all the chaos your puberty created and wonder how you and your family ever got through it?

Well, I know the answer. You all got through it because your parents knew what puberty was ahead of time. They were prepared for it. They were patient with it. And, despite the fact that you thought no one understood you, they probably understood you better than you understood yourself.

Even if you were clueless and clumsy, your parents stayed the course. Not only that. All of society knew how to recognize puberty and give you a little slack. There was a collective consciousness that paved the way for you and made it as easy for you as possible. Everyone talked about puberty. People shared experiences about puberty. There were special services and community events that targeted puberty.

Can you imagine what your puberty would have been like if nary a sole had known what puberty entailed?

What would have happened if your parents hadn’t understood? What if they had no clue about puberty? How do you think things would have turned out?

Well fast forward to peri-menopause. Instead of being 13, you’re 50. And guess what? You’re going to experience all that awkward physical, emotional, and social chaos all over again!

And that’s because menopause is puberty in reverse.

When you think about it that way, it makes perfect sense. Puberty is the “On” switch to your reproductive life. Menopause is the “Off” switch. It’s all the same stuff at opposite ends of the reproductive portion of your life.

Puberty is when your periods begin; menopause is when they end.

Puberty is when you begin producing estrogen; menopause is when you stop producing estrogen.

Puberty marks the time when you can start getting pregnant; menopause marks the time when you can no longer get pregnant.

Puberty is when you have a growth spurt; menopause is when you start to shrink.

Puberty and menopause are opposites in many ways. But, Mother Nature is both magical and mystical. There are many aspects of puberty and menopause that mimic one another even though they’re at opposite ends of the reproductive spectrum.

Both involve all sorts of physical changes … with your breasts, vagina, skin, hair, and weight.

Both entail similar emotional changes … with your mood, sense of calm, level of patience (or lack thereof).

Both are fraught with social conflicts … with your parents, your children, your husband.

Puberty and menopause are similar in ways that seem quite logical.

But there’s one striking difference between the two that is completely illogical: Most people are clueless about menopause! Women, men, and children are all unprepared, uneducated, and uncomfortable with menopause.

How can that be? How can puberty be so familiar and socially acceptable and menopause be so elusive and socially shunned?

It just doesn’t’ make sense.

Can you imagine how different your menopause would be if you were prepared for it, educated about it, and comfortable with it?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your family expected it and embraced it with the same patience and support they embraced your puberty?

How can it be that the same process, going in opposite directions, causes people to react so differently?

We need to reverse this.

Just as Mother Nature has created menopause as puberty in reverse, we need to reverse our hang-ups about menopause and embrace it as puberty’s older Sister. Not the evil older sister. Not the wicked step-sister. Just the loving, caring, nurturing older sister. Isn’t that what every pubertal girl deserves?